Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I just love to hold your hand. (:
You don't know how much your smile brings me joy for tomorrow!!
Darn, I've got a lksdfaoie feeling.
Everytime I think about N I'll think about this.
& today was just great.
I can't believe I once thought you were the best; how I felt so lucky to have you; how I looked up to you and took in every word you said.
Can you not be so obviously biased?
Okay, chill. I'm not mad at anybody. I understand your position.
A great top person like you needs great top athletes under you.
Would it hurt to ask what's wrong, why am I not joining in? You could've asked both of us instead of just asking the one next to me.
Yeah, I mean I know I'm no longer that useful to you.
You've got 2 other players now who can easily take over me, whereas I used to be the only one who could do so early this year, I was a main player, now I'm just like..okay, you can go on next.

Sheesh this was supposed to be short.
I know I'm not performing like I used to.
But sorry, that passion has long ago blown out.
I don't even know why I accepted this position.
Cos right now, I'm not feeling any part of this.
Okay, I should stop ranting.
I just don't know why I sacrifice so much for this.


Someone motivate me to do my homework please.
Cos my motivation has gone to Taiwan for a week ):

Thursday, November 27, 2008

long weird day.
slept til 930am which is quite amazing seeing i slept at 11 last night and the previous 2 nights been sleeping at 1am :P

went to bugis today(:
Quite a few interesting things happened..
I sat next to a real transex guy.
Oh gosh so scary..
The thing is that i didn't know that he/she was one til i heard this booming deep voice coming from somewhere i thought came from this guy that was not moving his mouth but doesn't look like a ventroliquist( idk how to spell:P) then i realised it was this skinny tall person with lipstick and long yellow sundress with flowers that was speaking. :O
(hm i realised it seems like i meant the flowers were speaking. hahah no, the man was:P)

Then on the bus on the way back..
man, wasn't the bus lively!
and no it's not a positive thing.
C'mon people, where is the love??
ahh but i'm too tired to say wat happened.

I went to fetch my sis from school after that, needed someone/something/a walk to cheer me up.
It worked(:
/edited
(:
I really wanted to laugh, but i could only just smile.
Thank you sis (:

Ahh there's so much more things that happened today, but my brain memory capacity is too small to remember so much.. I HAVN'T RECIEVED FALCON PHOTOS!! ):

oh yeah, I was singing before dinner:D
okay, I always sing at random times when there's nothing to do, but i was singing a cool song..and this is how it goes:

Turn on the radio
and listen to the news
Cos falcons gonna win
and you're gonna lose (gonna lose)

Cos we're the mighty birds that fly
and you're the groups we kiss goodbye
But we always will, raise our spirits highhh (spirits high)

Breath taking
Heart's pumping
Fun lovin'
there's no faking how great we are
When you take a ride of our life

Falcon's in my soul
I can feel it everyday, everynight
It's the one thing on my mind

Falcon's got control
and we will never let it go, no no
I just want to hear it all night longggggggggg!!!

~SOARING HIGH

Okay, I can't believe i just typed everything out. :P
Rahh. I just realised how much more I couldve given them..

And now it's over.

I think I got my heart back.
(:

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

COALs.. I AM POSSIBLE

Back from COALs.
It was. How to say, an emotional camp for many.
Why is my heart like a rock?
I'll never forget that night, that one night.
When hearts were shed, and the ground melted below our feet.
The anger, the fear, the knot in the core that spread around each one like wildfire..flooding out in tears.
Lord, did You lock up my heart for a reason? Why couldn't I feel anything? Some part of me wanted to feel the suffering they went through, the burden that we shared..
But still. Maybe.
Maybe You used me, to be that pillar, that shoulder that dried some of their tears. (: The only one without the tears fogging my thought.
Thank You Lord, for that strength you provided and answered.
The Lord really proved Himself so many times during this camp..
I don't know what I would've done without You by my side!
Thank You for answering our prayers. (:
Not just one request did you answer, but all.


To FALCON:

Falcon, falcon, falcon.. Do you know, when ever I see you, I'm just at lost for words to say? I myself don't know why. Maybe it's because, I know you are a sensitive group, I don't like to see you cry, I don't want to hurt you. But yet, I want you to grow, to be who you can become-that potential you all have but cloaked somewhere to be uncovered. From the beginning, I already knew, what you could be capable of. I saw it in you. I guess that's why I never gave up in you, why I pushed you on, why I teared for you.
I know at first, you didn't understand. That frustration, irritance, dread of me, cannot be mistaken. Those rolling eyes, those words, yeah, it did hurt. It made me almost want to give up on you. But do you know why I held firm? Do you know why, I didn't loosen the knots? I just wanted to give you that extra push you needed, that push off the cliff. Just so you'd open your wings and learn how to fly.
& you know what? You learned instead, to soar.
I wasn't there much at the beginning of COALs, but you know somehow, I didn't really want to be there. I'd not know what to do, how to say the things I want to say. Don't know how I want to express it, positively or harsh, cos somehow, I'd never get the response I want. Somehow I don't know if what I was doing is right or wrong..But I guess, you still made it, Falcon.
At the end of it all, you did it. I'm not talking about winning the award. I never set that expectation of getting the 'Best Group Award'..
though in my heart, you've already got it. No, I'm talking about all the things you've pulled through, the million things you've overcome. I wasn't looking at the thing's you've done, the achievements in ink, but its to see how much you've grown. From the beginning until the end, I can see that obvious change, and you know what? I'm really proud of you. (:
"Anything essential is invisible to the eyes." ~Antoine de-Saint Exupery {The Little Prince}
At the very end, I'm not sure if you hate me or what (like what some have confessed(; ) but that doesn't matter. I just hope that you've lived COALs and BTC to the very fullest, cos it's the only one chance you'd get to go through it.

Actually I have to say, of all my experiences of leading a group or just being in it, Falcon has been the most worthwhile, satisfying one. I can't even remember much of COALs 'o7, but I'll never forget 'o8. Because of you. (:

p.s I hope you like the hippos, cos I really love the ring! ;) And yes, of course the letters too.


Psalm 119:71,75b - 76 "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. ...and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight."

Hmm, I'm not sure if I'll miss anything..COALs was over in a flash.
But if there's one thing I'd miss, it's CAMPCRAFT!

I'll miss those whacky experiments we did, the dangerous stunts, the crazy things we did when we were bored..hm.
just to list a few:
The Great Digging Expedition@ The tree with Old Man xD
The Lemonade Escape
The GAS STOVES. xO
The [sensored] (yes, I think wanehs hand is the smoothest xD or is it Mays'?)

And other's my brain has no space to remember :P
You 3 are really the whackiest bunch, honestly! Hahah but it made the gazillion hrs of preparation fun (:
Maytavee! Awww what you wrote was damn sweet. (:
It's the nicest thing someone has said to me throughout COALs! Silly goose!!
And yeah, sleeping beside you (literally) was super comfy too :D hoho I sound scandalous. But you disappeared the 2nd night! D:
And you! Hahaha I still can't believe you let me hug you. Actually I didn't realise until after I did. :P But still!! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I hugged the un-huggable. :D
And to the youngest one who turns 15 in 4 days, YOU ARE N-U-T-S. hahaha! Really, you are. So kuku and blur and everything else, really enjoyed doing the dirty work with you. HAHA.
Oh and one more thing, keep your hands off me!!!!! I'M WATCHING YOU. o.o

okay, so i didn't pop 6 corns in 7 hrs!! Hahaha maybe i popped 6 edible ones:P The rest uhm, popped away? Hahaha what to do, I'm hotter than the fire. xP

Sunday, November 23, 2008

COALs is here.
Ack okay it's TOMORROW.
And I havn't packed. okay that's not the point.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
whoa okay, much better(:
Haha I can't believe it's here already! Ohmy.
JIAYOU INSTRUCTORS '08!! Its time to show them what we've been sacrificing 6mths, our sleep, our sweat and blood for!!
And i've already planned, if anything goes wrong, I'm gna put on a pe tee and pretend i'm a camper!! Hohoho i'm so smart. xP

hmm. I really pray that it will go smoothly, and for the weather too!
Hope you'll pray for me too, I think I'll really need the strength to last. & hope my cough miraculously will go away. ):




Went for Heather's concert today!!
Haha! Ohmy, I think it was the best concert i've been to in my life.
Those kids are just sooooooooo cute!!
I tell you they were just so great to watch, and it was amusing to see them go up on stage in front of everybody! Some had stage fright and it was so hilarious!!!
Cos this boy was supposed to introduce an item, but he started turning around and pulling his pants, so the teacher pulled him behind the curtains. Then suddenly, out of the curtains, was a little girl!! Hahaha like a magic trick.
But the girl was also in a state of shock, so the teacher pulled her behind the curtains too!
Ohmy, then another girl appeared!!!!!! xD
I laughed and laughed til my sides hurt i tell you! But luckily this girl wasn't scared. How many understudies do they have??

But when my sis came out for her performance, she cried.
Aww. She's been practicing so so so hard at home!!
Haha I even asked her this morning "will you be scared later on stage?" and she said "nope!!"
Haha! Ahh. but during the finale, she didn't cry.
Cos she was busy turning around pointing and waving at the huge frog person at the back.
:/
Oh well. Hahahahahhahahahahaha!! :D


I'm gonna miss my bed, my shower and those hugs ):

Thursday, November 20, 2008

POP POP POP

The nice things about waking at 5am and going home at 8pm..
is that I have the whole road to myself, the sunrise, the stars and the freedom to do what i want, cos no one's looking. :D
wow.
It feels good to walk into the dark estate, breath that fresh air, and clear my mind of all things in the morning..and night, by singing with my waterbottle microphone!
The feeling of You by my side is just, amazing.

Today was carnival day at RGS.
It was quite good! I realised I play only under pressure..
man, it reminds me of our sec 1 days..hah.

Rushed back to school after that.
Popping corn seeds!! Well yeah that sums up my 7hrs in school.
Ohboy. Its one tough job okay!

Doing proposals now):):
3 DAYS TO COALS.
man i'm feeling the heat now.. eep!

why did you turn out this way?
you've become like a stranger to me..

alright, seeyouall tmr!
God bless ((:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

AHCHOO!!

5 days to camp.
And I'm falling sick..

At least my heart jumps&dances with the delight of a new day
(:


And I found that songgggg!! Listen, and tell me what you think!
Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart
What I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you now
How to say how to say how I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right trought to your heart
Here's the place to start

[Chorus]
Tu amor, I will always be
Tu amor, means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Mi amor love you more with each look in your eyes
Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What I feel in my heart
What I'll feel for all time
How to make you see
How to let you now
I need you
With words you understand
Words that get through to your soul
Words that will let you now

[Chorus]
Tu amor, I will always be
Tu amor, means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

You're the one that
I need in my arms
Believe me these words
I say are words that come straight from my heart
How do I make you believe
Nothing else means as much as what you mean to me

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Lovin' life because of You

40 min run.
Dragon boating.
Sports psychology workshop.

okay, I've been so busy these days, I've not been able to post of my EXCITING week.

SUNDAY
Jamming jamming jamming whoo! Haha finally got together abit of our performance for christmas(: Man, it's good to be back on the keyboard. You guys must come watch me okay?
living it anew again(:

MONDAY
Ohohohohohmy. The day me and MAYTAVEE TANSRISUWARN almost blowed the school up. whoop! Man, i think i exhaled too much gasoline. Did i say exhale? Sorry, i meant inhale:P
Ayeayeaye, it's getting to my brains D:
Oh i almost forgot. Our terrible market experience:P Hahaha thank you CHERIE for answering though you were sleeping and telling me what corn and popcorn was in chinese (okay actually your sis, but at least you asked her:D)

hahaha, hm. Smth happened on the bus ride home.
The bus was empty, but it was raining cows and donkeys outside, so it was really cold.
Then suddenly this lady who was sitting in front, came to sit next to me :O Oh my, I didn't know my heat radiates so far manz! Hahah!
But then that's not all, she started stretching!!! wow. So warm that she can start doing yoga? in the bus?

TODAY
Yeah i guess i've already listed out at the beginning of this post.
Run was alright, though i had to wake up like at 5am this morning to go):

Dragonboat was fun! Champions, we are. (:
Our boat won all the races? Haha but that's not impt. had fun, only saw one dead fish! Improvement, kallang basin, well done!!
Haha had malu moments out of the boat though..nyeh! hahaha.

Hm and another one at kfc. whaaa Nair, nair! and charlene!! thanks ah, well done.
Hahaha oh why oh why are netballers so crazy xD
Then on the way to school. Oh my i tell you, even the sec 1s are like lunatics! Hahah they won't disagree with me.

You give song to my lips,
dance to my feet,
how I've missed this feeling!

When I think about the heavens
the moon and all the stars,
I wonder what You
ever saw in me..

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Hm what has happened to you two!
haha whew. finally finished doing the champion thing for ms chng.

trg is tiring. I wanted to do math today!
But ended up crashing for 4 hrs):
ow. Weili is draining our youthfulness.
No wonder she is forever 18!
Haha!

Aye. The start of a very busy hectic week.
COALs in a weeks time manz..
Ah well.