hey peeps!

kat i really feel this blog has got to be private. not that im afraid people might sue us for slander or unflattery comments or whatever(cos we never said bad things about people anyway...cept maybe for that thunderpants thing) but its like people who should NOT be here, come here and read OUR comments and i dunno....spread rumours and all that.

but then again, you think, if's its private means only the 3 of us can read it, and really, part of the point of having a blog is for people (you know) to come and read and keep updated abt us.

anyway, recently i've been feeling really confused nowadays. not stressed just really confused. confused about ...many things! have you ever felt like sometimes people whom you think are a certain sort, can still totally surprise you at times? gosh...anyway i think i shall take a leaf out of the 2 of your books and draw strength from God.

i've just been thinking about someone. and guess what, i saw her on the bus home today. i have just gone through a myriad of feelings. first, i felt angry and very very mad at her. i was thinking of the things she'd done/said to me or about me and i felt really resentful. really prepared to let rip with all my feelings of dissatisfaction. then boom! guess what? i started crying. yes, crying!! can you believe that? i never thought i would cry for her. she doesnt even deserve it. and im crying because i dunno, because i feel like its my fault she doesnt like me. when i dont even like her?? and its like i try my hardest to hate her for the things she's done/said to me or about me, but its getting so hard? even though i know its just her attitude, its really just her fault and not mine...i wish things would get much better anyway. why do i crave her acceptance so much? who is she to me anyway? why does she always see me and start frowning and pulling on a long face? why??

the big question is WHY DO I EVEN CARE ABOUT HER? its not like she makes my earth revolve. ok i think i gotta take a step back and evaluate this. maybe i shouldnt get so emo...im blaming it on PMS.

a not-sure-how-i-feel-right-now
mandy